Oh God of my people I confess before you
that I have not lived in accord with you laws and ordinances
Specifically I confess to you:
I have not been an achiever
I have not been a winner
but often a loser
I have not been aggressive
I have not stepped up
nor have I leaned in
I have not resisted the aggressive
When people have wanted to win, I let them win
I did not speak back when a man told me I was too f–ing meek
I have not gotten rich
and when I have had money I have helped others
I have constantly sought to serve others and not myself
I have striven to be informative, not argumentative
I have striven To comfort the afflicted
and tried not to unduly afflict the comfortable
I have done my best to be kind and helpful
to angry and difficult customers
I have tried to exploit the earth and other species
as little as possible.
For these and all my other offences against the law and ordinances of my people
I wish to be sorry
to repent
to mend my ways
if only I would
Bless me, sinner that I am
and keep me from the pit of total reprobation.