petard.us

First and foremost, I would take Oliver to the vet. The kitty has been sick for at least a year now. I took him to the vet a year ago. I couldn’t afford to have him diagnosed any further. He had a Mast Cell tumor and he was very very thin. they prescribed some Prednisone; he eats ravenously usually but has gained no weight and is now pretty weak. I can’t get more prednisone for him unless I take him to the vet again. I can’t afford that.

Second, I would rent a car so I could get around. I say rent because it would give me some space to go out and look for a car to buy.

Then I would pay my debts, the most personal ones first, and get straight with the IRS.

Look for a better place to live, with more room and closer to the city’s action.

I would work on my Hebrew and study scriptures seriously and try to write articles and meditations.

Work on my idea about the Hebrew prophets and divine punishment as a kind of natural theology.

I would find time to get the old journals into this blog, and to put more of my poetry on my web site.

Visit Chris and Michael and then go round the country to see old friends, especially in San Francisco.

So, the past few mornings I have found myself praying again for the people driving by while I wait for the bus. It has not quite been warm enough to read while waiting until the last few days. And I don’t really feel like reading until I get on the bus anyway.

Then, on the bus, the sun had risen a ways and I found “When Morning Gilds the Skies” singing its way through my head. I wished I had a Hymnal so I could pray/sing all the words.

I wish I had a copy machine so I could carry the words with me for future mornings.

A Post that didn’t get written:
Thursday night was a bad scene. I ate my normal meal but without any carbs. Just as I was about to go to bed, I suddenly got hypoglycemic. Then I ate too many carbs, out of panic and fear. Adding carbs back in. Nor did I brush my teeth at bedtime.

Doing well otherwise. Taking my meds, following up on my mental health appointments and getting more. Next week I see the leader of the therapy group I would like to get into. And, finally, an appointment with the shrink about meds; that is really important.

Doing my reading too. I am enjoying the book on Social Christianity now that I am fully into it.

It’s Spring. I’m longing to garden, and have no place to garden. I may be able to get some potting soil, and i have some containers for gardening. Maybe I could steal some soil from local excavations? And I am remembering our Victory Garden. I had to be very young then. Most evenings in the season we would all trek over to the neighborhood Victory Garden and my grandfather would do most of the gardening. I wish there were a community garden here at the apartments. Ach, I’m such a socialist.

Well, I did manage to make my rent. All It took was a biggish advance, about one week’s net pay. But CdV decreed that it come out of the next two paychecks, 200 last paycheck and 150 next. I counter-proposed 70 per check for five weeks. too slow for CdV. I have this huge gas bill because the last payment I made did not work for some technical reason and I paid out all I had for February’s rent and then was sick a lot of February. CdV’s counter was 100 last paycheck and 250 next. So I settled for that. But that leaves the gas bill unpaid this time, not enough money, and next time, barely enough for food. Sigh, that bill will get paid. With proper care, there are five paydays in this fiscal month, before rent is actually paid.

On the plus side, I am feeling much much better, with the increase in medication and the withdrawal of that other meds. I can try that one again later, in addition to what I am taking now, according to the Doctor. But I feel much healthier and have more energy. I am also doing much better dragging my ass out of bed in the am and showering then.

So in spite of the grinding of poverty, and CdV, gridning onward, ever onward, things may be looking up.

Kenetha Frisby of the Magdalen list, wrote to ask if I was OK, because I had not posted since last Wednesday.

OK, I’m sorry; I admit it, I’ve been lazy, sort of. I meant to write Friday night about How I Am Doing. I went to bed, sleepy sleepy, with the intention of writing in my copious free time over the weekend. But I was lazy. sort of. I wanted also to write something difficult. and I stewed over that instead of posting. I will post the difficult thing, I promised.

In the meantime, I did a lot over the weekend:
Saturday:
Grocery shopping by bus, four hours plus
Put away groceries
Went to the Public Library, returned old book and got new ones
Made bacon and eggs for lunch with part of a scone
Made a nice pizza from scratch for dinner
Didn’t find a way to church
Bad: unnecessary bedtime snack

Sunday:
Didn’t go to church, even nearby Lutherans
Baked eight cheese. herb, and garlic scones
Made a small pork roast for sandwiches during the week
Baked an apple pie for during the week
Made a good Sunday dinner, meat, three veg, and a salad, and apple pie
Bad: unnecessary bedtime snack

Did manage to brush my teeth at bedtime Friday and Sunday

Need to do more often: clean cat box

So there, Kenetha.

I did brush my teeth before bed yesterday.

Today I went to my Mental Health appointment and got an appointment with the person who runs the therapy group I mean to join, and also, finally, an appointment to talk to the shrink about the meds.

I got up and showered.

Nice meal this evening

Still blogging

Still reading serious book on the bus.

Yay for me

Carol was talking yesterday of her hope that Bishop Schori would be elected Presiding Bishop. She said Frank Griswold, whom we both know, is just another of the Eastern elite and knows nothing of people who live in the “fly-over country.” I guess I think the Episcopal Church is mostly people from the two coasts, mainly the eastern coast. They are the majority and the majority rules. Carol is just in a minority and what she complains of is the complaint of all minorities. It reminds me somewhat of Illinois politics, Chicago versus downstate.

I guess I am sounding like a hardass. I’m not; I’m pointing to the hardassedness of the world in which we live, That’s just the way it works.

Unless you have proportional representation. The Diocese of Missouri used to use, and maybe still does use, a weighted voting system so that various constituencies all get some representation. They also use the same process in the city of Cambridge, Massachusetts. It seemed to me to work well in both places. It was for her support of this kind of voting that Lani Guinier failed to be confirmed when appointed to a major office.

I didn’t brush my teeth at bed time.

I didn’t move my lazy ass out of bed in time to shower.

I did read a bit of Ruth in Hebrew, and realized how really rusty my Hebrew is.
And I read a goodly bit of History of Art too.

I did cook a nice meal for myself.

And here I am bloging.

I am reading one serious book on the bus, this time theology/church history.

Keep praying.

Today’s nuclear family is a kind of impoverishment. Today, Mom–sometimes Dad–has to drag the kiddies along wherever she has to go until they are old enough to stay home by themselves. This limits where she can go and what she can do. It is a major drag on shopping. In the day of the extended family, there would have been grandma or aunt to watch the kiddies while mom got done what she needed to do.

Likewise, modern conveniences, refrigerators and freezers, microwaves, frozen dinners, and fast food, free a woman up to work and have a career and be active. In days of yore, a woman was trapped by having to shop daily and cook the meals. On the other hand, her family got a really good diet.

We also no longer have sheets etc dried in the sun. I remember that smell and that crispness. On the other hand, it goes much quicker if we use a dryer. Most of us don’t even have a place to hang out laundry any more. In a good middle-class neighborhood, you would be shunned at the very least if you pout up clotheslines and hung out laundry.

Losses and gains.

A lot of what I will write here are short things. I tend to do smartass one-liners. I once said that I wanted to preach a sermon sometime and say, “He came as the door of the sheepfold and they treated him like the doormat.”

Do Social Darwinists believe in school crossing guards?
Do Social Darwinists help their kids with their homework?